This weekend, Zoe and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary of when she referenced me as her girlfriend and I said I hadn’t been asked yet so then she asked me to be her girlfriend and I said yes which meant that I had my first ever girlfriend which was terrifying and exciting. We decided to go for a lil spa break at a place which offered an outstanding deal and we don’t really understand how they make any money from it. For £100 you get – a 3 course meal with a bottle of prosecco, an overnight stay in the hotel, breakfast, an afternoon tea, a hot tub and a massage. This is where we went and you should definitely book.
I originally planned to write about our stay and try out as a travel blogger but now that I’ve sat down to write, that doesn’t really fill me with joy and now I feel like I want to write about having a girlfriend and stuff so I think this is the direction this is going to go but who knows. This year on my Birthday I told my parents that I was dating a girl and it was a pretty big deal. I’ve had lots of boyfriends (show off) and heterosexual relationships were where I was comfortable and I understood my role in as a doormat. Just kidding. Sort of.
Earlier this year I went back into therapy and dedicated myself to healing. I was anxiously attached to anyone that gave me attention, co-dependent and a hot mess. My therapist is an angel and helped me navigate some really tricky stuff. I wanted to be by myself and continue my journey to being confident in my boundaries so that when or if I had a new relationship in the future, it had the best chance to succeed and I had the best chance at being properly happy.
Whilst going through these sessions, which honestly changed my life, I was getting closer to Zoe and realised I fancied her. I spoke about it in length with my therapist because 1) I was confused AF because I thought I was straight and 2) I didn’t want to be doing my classic move of jumping straight into a relationship when I hadn’t healed from the last. I needed her to tell me that my feelings and what I was doing was ok but she refused because therapists won’t tell you if you are right or wrong which is v.frustrating but v.fair because ultimately I had to give myself the permission to explore my sexuality and be open to a new relationship if I was ready.
Spoiler: We got together, I came out to my family and friends, I got a tattoo of a naked lady, there was a pandemic and we moved in together after 17 days of being a couple and now we are living happily ever after.
Dating women is great and I would highly recommend it. Here are a few of the many things that I appreciate about being in a same sex relationship.
- When you come on your period unexpectedly there are tampons in the bathroom cupboard
- When you get bored of your own clothes you have instant access to a whole new wardrobe
- You can shock old people by holding hands when you walk down the street
- When you mention your partner and someone references them as ‘he’ you can be be really offended and very pointedly say ‘she’ in your response
- You can confuse people as to what your relationship is. Are they sisters? Friends? LOVERS?
- Women can orgasm multiple times
- I get to be a girlfriend and not a mother, therapist, PA and cleaner*
- There’s no stress of being the only person who notices that you need to buy toilet roll*
- My partner is interested in what I need from the relationship*
- I no longer have to micromanage my partner’s life*
- We do things just because they need to be done and not because one of us (me) has sent 23 passive aggressive texts about doing the hoovering*
*I know, I know — #notallmen. I’m making a major generalization here based on my personal experience of some of my previous relationships with men and my current relationship with a fantastic woman. If you’ve got yourself a man who puts in the work then go you. Please get him to tell his friends and encourage him to lead a seminar asap.