Me and White Supremacy

books, stuff

Laylaa F Saad began an Instagram challenge called #MeAndWhiteSupremacy where she encouraged people to own up and share their racist behaviours, big and small. Thousands of people participated and from this project the Me and White Supremacy book was born; with added historical and cultural contexts, stories, anecdotes, definitions, examples and further resources. The book leads readers through a journey of understanding white privilege and their participation in white supremacy so that they can stop (often unconsciously) inflicting damage of black, indigenous and people of colour (BIPOC) and in turn, help other white people do better too. It is clear from the onset that this work will be uncomfortable, painful and necessary. Even if you already have an understanding of white fragility, cultural appropriation, and tokenism, methodically working through and examining your own complicity in them is another thing entirely. This is essential work for all white people.

White privilege – inherent advantages possessed by a white person on the basis of their race in a society characterized by racial inequality and injustice
White supremacy – the belief that white people constitute a superior race and should therefore dominate society, typically to the exclusion or detriment of other racial and ethnic groups, in particular black or Jewish people
White fragility – discomfort and defensiveness on the part of a white person when confronted by information about racial inequality and injustice
Cultural appropriation – the unacknowledged or inappropriate adoption of the customs, practices, ideas, etc. of one people or society by members of another and typically more dominant people or society
Tokenism – the practice of making only a perfunctory or symbolic effort to do a particular thing, especially by recruiting a small number of people from under-represented groups in order to give the appearance of sexual or racial equality within a workforce

In light of the BLM protests, a friend of mine set up a book club for us to explore this book. As a group, we decided to meet weekly and share our journaling responses to the chapters. Saad sets out the most effective way this can be done as a group to ensure that it is a safe space for sharing. Before starting work, I genuinely thought that racism was negative words and actions said and done towards black and people of colour. I believed that I hadn’t ever been racist because I had never acted in this way. I didn’t think I really had any work to do around racism because I was a good person who believed everyone should be treated equally. Working through this book taught me just how wrong I was. I had limiting beliefs, I had unknowingly benefited from my white privilege, I had tone policed people of colour and I had been a performative ally. Responding to the questions posed by Saad made me go deep into my childhood – growing up in a Cornish town where there was one person of colour in my whole secondary school, challenge my behaviour when dating black men in the past and acknowledge where I have disregarded the experience of black, indigenous and people of colour.

Something that becomes very apparent through the book is the need to call out/in friends, family, colleagues, random strangers when you witness behaviour that needs to be challenged. This is something that I never thought I’d be able to do. I’ve heard problematic comments and I have been silent. Doing this work in a group setting gave us the chance to talk through real life experiences and workshop the best ways to respond whilst also exploring how they may respond to your actions (white centering/fragility). Putting this into practise is hard but isn’t comparable to the hard shit that BIPOC have to go through as a result of my and other white people’s actions. I finally feel like if I lose people as a result of calling them in/out then c’est la vie.

I’ll be honest – the work was hard and at times I wanted to give up. I felt apathetic & then there was a chapter about white apathy. Saad totally hits the nail on the head when she says that it is absolute white privilege that we get to opt out of this work when we want to and disengaging cannot be an option. I felt proud when we completed the 28 days but knew that this wasn’t where the work finished, it is where it begins. We were asked to list our actions that we would be taking forward over the next 2 weeks and beyond and committed to holding each other accountable. There is so much that we can do with our money and time to support BIPOC and we have to do that over and over again. It is baffling how many people/companies shared social media posts in solidarity during the BLM protests and have since been silent. It is not up to BIPOC people to tell you what you can do or how you can help. This shit is on you.

Recommendations:


– Read Me and White Supremacy
– Read Why I’m no longer talking to White people about race
– Financially support charities/projects ran by BIPOC for BIPOC
– Ask charities/projects how you can best support them
– Get involved in local protests
– Listen to the About Race podcast
– Listen to the Woke Up podcast
– Diversify the media you consume and those you follow on social media
– Challenge spaces that aren’t diverse or are tokenistic
– Have conversations about racism with your friends/family
– Take ownership of where you have done wrong in the past and apologize
Think about where you hold influence and how you can use this to be a force for good

In review: 10 books that you need on your bookshelf (pt.3)

books

Before I share the books I have been enjoying lately, I wanted to first tell you about 2 amazing resources that I have fallen in love with this week.

I recently found out that Goodreads is owned by Amazon and I was really gutted. I hate Amazon but I love Goodreads so I was v.conflicted about what to do. Then yesterday, a friend told me about StoryGraph which is like Goodreads but a whole lot better. It’s a black owned business, it’s extremely aesthetically pleasing and it can import all of your data from Goodreads onto your shiny new StoryGraph profile. I also like that you can attach trigger warnings to books, that it gives you spot on recommendations based on the books you like to read and you can access loads of data that dissects the kind of things you read the most. It is like Goodreads in the 21st century and a whole lot cooler. If you fancy following me, my account name is runwildalice (quelle surpise, yup still learning French too). The website only launched this months so I expect that lots more functionality will be coming soon.

Another bookish recommendation I want to share is Bookswap. Now that the libraries are closed, this is really scratching the itch of wanting new books without spending lots of dollar. The premise is simple: for every book you offer you can claim a book. When you claim a book, you just pay for postage and packaging. When you offer a book, once it is claimed, you get emailed a pre-paid postage label and drop it off at your nearest Parcel stop (usually in corner shops) to be sent. I thought it would be full of loads of old books but there is all the new stuff on there too! You can set up a wishlist so every time that a book that you want becomes offered, you can claim it. You have to have send a book to get one back and I really like that. I have already sent off 2 books and claimed 2 back which I have been waiting ages to read. I bloody love it. Full disclosure: If you use this link, you get a free book without offering one and I get one too.

Here are the books I have been reading and loving lately:

The Mothers & The Vanishing Half by Britt Bennett
I read The Mothers after reading The Vanishing Half but The Mothers came first and is all the more astonishing for a debut novel. In lyrical prose, The Mothers asks whether we must always live in servitude to the decisions of our younger selves, to the communities that have parented us, and to the decisions we make that shape our lives forever. The Vanishing Half is about 2 twins who decided to live very different lives – one as white and one as black. The effects of this choice is huge and the novel explores how this will effect future generations of the two families. Both of these novels were exemplary and deserving of all of their many accolades.

Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo

This was the first time I have read a novel in prose and it was really effective in the delivery of the story. Clap when you land is a dual narrative book from the viewpoint of 2 sisters. The girls are forced to face a new reality in which their father is dead and their lives are forever altered. When it seems like they’ve lost everything they learn of each other. The book brims with grief, love, loss and the difficulty of forgiveness.

The Guest List by Lucy Foley

It has been a long while since I have been really impressed with a crime thriller and Lucy Foley definitely delivers with The Guest List. Set at a wedding on a remote Irish island, all of the characters seem to have motive and the conclusion had me completely shook! This is exactly what I want from a book of this genre, if I’ve worked out whodunnit by chapter 3 I’m not happy. Hats off to the author, this is really clever writing.

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

Oh my goodness, have I been hiding under a rock? How has it taken me so long to read this book? I’m annoyed with myself. It’s the kind of novel that makes you wonder how one author can dream up the characters and story line. It’s almost too good and has fast become one of the best books I’ve read. Ever. A Thousand Splendid Suns is a chronicle of three decades of Afghan history and a deeply moving account of family and friendship. You have to read this!

Silver Sparrow by Tayari Jones

Set in 1980’s Atlanta, this novel revolves around James Witherspoon’s two families—the public one and the secret one. It is sort of similar to Clap when you land but at the same time, totally different. When the daughters from each family meet and form a friendship, only one of them knows they are sisters. I didn’t love this book quite as much as An American Marriage (also by Tayari Jones) but I think that is because it lacked conclusion. I guess bigamy is quite a hard thing to resolve..

Love After Love by Ingrid Persaud

This story is written in vibrant Trinidadian prose and questions who and how we love, the obligations of family, and the consequences of choices made in desperation. I didn’t know much of this book before I read it and I absolutely loved it. I was totally invested in the 3 central characters and audibly gasped at certain moments. A totally immersive book and worthy of your bookshelf.

The Girl With The Louding voice by Abi Daré

Another ridiculously impressive debut novel. This book is told in the unforgettable voice of Adunni who is trapped in her life of servitude but determined to fight for her dreams and choose her own future. It’s both a heart breaking and hopeful story. I was rooting for Adunni every step of the way and her character will stay with me for a long time. This book deserves awards!

The Confession by Jessie Burton

I wasn’t too sure on The Miniaturist but I am glad I gave Jessie Burton another chance as this book was much more up my street! This is a powerful and deeply moving novel about secrets and storytelling, motherhood and friendship, and how we lose and find ourselves. I loved how the 2 storylines and timeframes interlinked to reach a satisfying conclusion. I like a story where the reader knows more than the character and you watch them edging ever closer to the truth.

Ghosts by Dolly Alderton

This was another hotly anticipated novel and I through Alderton created something really clever with her first work of fiction. The novel is funny, tender and painfully relatable and I thought the portrayal of Dementia was done sensitively and to great effect. I did find that I kept imagining Dolly as the central character, perhaps that is due to reading (and equally loving). Everything I Know About Love, also written by Alderton. This is quite a fluffy read but with important themes. It’s a goodun.

If you have enjoyed this post, check out my other recommended reads here and here.



Stuff everyone has enjoyed for ages but I have only just got really into

food, stuff

Now that I have taken a social media sabbatical, I know I’m a modern day martyr, I have loads more time to do stuff. Who would have thought? With this new found time and brain space I have started discovering loads of fun things I like doing, reading, listening to. Being offline also means I can’t publicize my blog posts or connect with you so that makes me a really shit blogger. Oops.

EDIT: I have just managed to add a lil contact box on the homepage so feel free to send your fan mail there.

Duo lingo: I’m learning French! Oui it is true. My Mum speaks fluent French and when I was little her and my Dad would switch to speaking in français to stop me understanding. I thought I’d learn the language just in case they start doing it again when I go and visit this weekend. French is a sexy language and apparently 34 hours spent on the app is the equivalent of a term of seminars at University. The app is free and soon I will be well on my way to being able to order a sandwich in Paris.

Refinery 29’s money diaries: I am absolutely obsessed with this feature on Refinery 29 where a modern day woman tracks her spending for the week and posts it for everyone to judge. I am pretty meticulous when it comes to managing my money and have a master spreadsheet of spendings and savings (I am a very fun person). I equally love finding out how other people spend their cash. The diaries are posted once or twice a week and are the perfect lunch break treat.

Spotify: I KNOW, HAVE I BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK? I have had Spotify for a while but haven’t ever utilized it properly. I now have a playlist for all occasions and keep adding to them. Now that I have my own office at work I have been listening to Radio 1 pretty much all day and finally have some modern music on my phone. My previous music collection consisted of 90’s bangers, club classics and musicals. Someone asking me to put some music on caused serious anxiety sweats because what if no-one else was interested in the Hamilton soundtrack? I’ve recently changed my account to a duo account with my gf which means a few extra quid saved a month and a free Google nest. Ours hasn’t arrived yet so I’m still not 100% sure that it isn’t a scam. C’est la vie.

Pick my postcode lottery: Talking of scams, this could also be a scam but if it’s not then you and I might win some money. Apparently there is only 2 people with my postcode registered and it hasn’t yet been picked so I live in hope. I expect a cut if you win big.

Sending emails: I have become e-pen pals with some long distance friends and it has been great being able to have real conversations with them and keeping each other posted on our news in a personal way rather than a Facebook status update. I absolutely love snail mail and this is a lush way of sending letters in a more accessible way. I tend to email them once every week or so and there is always so much to say and it is therapeutic too.

Trashy shows on Netflix: I highly recommend you watching the following shows immediately: Selling sunset, Below deck, Love at first sight and Too hot to handle. I’ve never been that into reality TV or soaps. Admittedly, I used to watch Eastenders but stopped after the dramatic Who shot Phil Mitchell saga. Sure I love a gritty crime thriller on BBC or a classic ITV 3 part drama but I would much rather watch rich people sell even richer people houses and outrageous people agreeing to marry each other without ever meeting until they’re engaged.

Podcasts: My current faves are – Shagged, married, annoyed, Off menu and Desert Island Discs. I listen whilst I cycle, walk, work, wash-up. I go through phases with podcasts but these 3 have stayed on my regular listens for a long time now.

Baking bread: Bread flour is back on the shelves people! I never want to try and make sourdough ever again after only 1 success and approx 186 failures during lock down and then our starter died. RIP. But no-one ever told me that making non-millennial bread can be fun and has a much higher success rate. We used this recipe and made bagels. Look here is a photo of Zoe taking a photo to prove it.